Been having tons of assignment recently. Barely had the time to actually sit down and take a break. But I'm actually having a couple of days to myself and something hit me. I guess that's what leads me here to this blog.
Well, I guess I was ignored. By her. Or maybe she's just trying to avoid me. I don't know.
Now I'm starting to wonder if it was the right thing to do to actually confess my feeling to her again. I mean I honestly wanted to tell her, I really want her to know how I felt and I'm actually serious the entire time, even after we broke up. I really want to redeem myself, to fight for someone I truly love. But maybe she's already moved on. Maybe she's already over it. Maybe I'm not the person I used to be in her life anymore. I don't know. Who knows?
If I hadn't told her how I felt. Maybe, just maybe things wouldn't be as bad as now? Maybe she wouldn't feel uneasy, maybe she wouldn't feel uncomfortable or weirded out and start to avoid/ignore me? Maybe she'd see me on a better page than as of now? Maybe the tension between us wouldn't even exist. Maybe if I didn't, things would be completely different. I don't know. Who knows?
From the way she's treating me right now. I can clearly see that she's pushing me away. I don't get it. When she sorta rejected me. She said she'd totally understand if I were to avoid her or not wanting to talk to her. But no. I still treat her the same, I do not intend to avoid her or ignore her or whatsoever. I'm trying my best to accept the fact that she doesn't see me the same way I see her. But in fact, she's the one avoiding me, pushing me away, cutting me off. What is she really thinking? What does she feel right now? What is her true intentions? I don't know. Who knows?
In spite of all the advises or opinion by people around me. I guess I'll just have to stick to what my mind tells me and what my heart truly wants. Some tells me to move on, some tells me that they'll always have my back no matter what I decide to do, some tells me to not put much hope into it. I get it. They want the best for me. I really really appreciate it, sincerely. But at the end of the day, everything is down to me. It's me, myself, that is the subject of this matter. I'll wait, I'll persevere, I'll be persistent, I'll hang on, I'll stay strong.. But what of a person you'll be when you come back., I can't tell. Is this worth the shot? Yes. Will it work out? I don't know. Who knows?
4:59PM.
Friday, May 6, 2016
#4
The five people you meet in heaven by Mitch Albom.
Told myself to finish this book last year but didn't manage to. However, I got myself to finish this book. And let me tell you, I'm not a book type of person. But as I flipped page by page, I got more and more hooked onto this book. It has kept me on my toes, wanting to know what continues in the coming pages. Honestly, I didn't expect myself to actually finish reading this book. There's just something about this book that got me so into it. This read got me thinking real hard, like so much harder than when I think during examinations.
So basically, this book tells you a tale about Eddie who met five different person in heaven. & these five person has appeared in his life at a point of time that Eddie might or might not have noticed. There's a reason why the five person exist in his life. And what did Eddie learned from this five separate meetings? I am not gonna spoil it anymore, but you should really give it a try and read it!
Anyways like I've mentioned, this got me thinking real hard.
What I acquired from this read is that perception is important. Everything happens for a reason, maybe something bad happened to you but something good might have happened to another person that was involved in the particular event. Always try to look at things from a different perspective. Not everything is about you. Try to understand why a person might have gotten angry at you by being in their shoes. Maybe you did spurt out something offensive or might have said something personal that affected the other person. Another scenario could be when a couple breaks up, maybe one of them is happier that way and the other one is having the worst time of his/her life. But you have to see things from a different angle. Maybe it's the best for the other party. Maybe he/she has gone through a tough time during the relationship. Maybe it's for the best. & maybe when you manage to have a look at the bigger picture, then you realize what's right and what went wrong. Learn from it. What I'm saying here is that we as human being should try to look at things differently and not to always be narrow minded. Well, at least I guess that's one of the lessons I learned from this read and how it is so relatable to my current situation.
4:42PM.
Told myself to finish this book last year but didn't manage to. However, I got myself to finish this book. And let me tell you, I'm not a book type of person. But as I flipped page by page, I got more and more hooked onto this book. It has kept me on my toes, wanting to know what continues in the coming pages. Honestly, I didn't expect myself to actually finish reading this book. There's just something about this book that got me so into it. This read got me thinking real hard, like so much harder than when I think during examinations.
So basically, this book tells you a tale about Eddie who met five different person in heaven. & these five person has appeared in his life at a point of time that Eddie might or might not have noticed. There's a reason why the five person exist in his life. And what did Eddie learned from this five separate meetings? I am not gonna spoil it anymore, but you should really give it a try and read it!
Anyways like I've mentioned, this got me thinking real hard.
What I acquired from this read is that perception is important. Everything happens for a reason, maybe something bad happened to you but something good might have happened to another person that was involved in the particular event. Always try to look at things from a different perspective. Not everything is about you. Try to understand why a person might have gotten angry at you by being in their shoes. Maybe you did spurt out something offensive or might have said something personal that affected the other person. Another scenario could be when a couple breaks up, maybe one of them is happier that way and the other one is having the worst time of his/her life. But you have to see things from a different angle. Maybe it's the best for the other party. Maybe he/she has gone through a tough time during the relationship. Maybe it's for the best. & maybe when you manage to have a look at the bigger picture, then you realize what's right and what went wrong. Learn from it. What I'm saying here is that we as human being should try to look at things differently and not to always be narrow minded. Well, at least I guess that's one of the lessons I learned from this read and how it is so relatable to my current situation.
4:42PM.
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